I believe in choosing your battles. When you are in a situation when you know you are not going to win the argument, and it is not worth it; just let it go. This is something that is most commonly found in relationships. And it is most frequently the guy being "wrong" and his lovely partner being "right." There is no sense in having to hear the "I'm not talking to you" speech after an argument that started because you wanted to watch ESPN.
So one day, my girlfriend at the time and I were in the City for the day. Everything was going great; we had tickets to a concert, we had a great lunch, and it was a beautiful day. Now there is this one street with four or five music stores on it, and if you're a musician, you can't resist. Even if you are thousands of dollars in debt and you know you can't buy anything, you have to go look around. Now women will do the same thing with any store, but they're never wrong... DUH. So anyway, I say "hey, can we check out the music stores?" And I get the look that says, "No" but she chooses her battle and says yes. Now an hour later I am still looking around and she politely says, "Can we go now?" And I, like an idiot, respond with something like, "Baby, we've been going in your stores since we got here!" Now, it was very true, but I should not have said it. That blows up into the "all the things I do for you" speech followed by the guilt trip and then the grand finale, "I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU!"
All I had to do was say, "Sure baby." I couldn't afford anything anyway. It was simple and I didn't choose my battles right. This was a very small scale example, but it applies all over; Politics, families, relationships, friends. Learn to choose your battles. Life is hard enough without having to fight every war.
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9 comments:
Mary H. gave me the link for your blog...I thought I'd reply.
I'm not sure how old you are, but I think your post is very true. Relationships of all kind involve give and take (respect). And it's hard to learn where to draw the line until you step over it a few times. Wait until you (if you do) get married some day! :)
I was searching through Mrs. H's blog and I ran across your blog. I found your words to ring true to me and your example was perfect. I have been married a long time and one must learn to do what you say. I don't think I knew that when I was in high school.
You are a wise person who has learned by the baptism of fire. Unfortunately we don't always think before we react to someone or something that happens. If we would take time to chose our actions and words, we might find ourselves in fewer conflicts.
You cause me to think of a battle that is ongoing in WVa where I am living at the moment. Coal mining has been a vital part of the state's economy. With the environment suffering from pollution, people want to stop the mining. Of course there are others who do not. It is a battle that affects millions of lives.
The results of this battle will affect millions of people's lives.
Thank you for sharing and reminding us to thinking carefully before we speak.
Ms. H sent me to her blog and I found your post. I must say that as a teacher I often internally repeat the mantra "choose your battles". Thanks for sharing your story.
I love the way you reproduced the dialog between the two characters. I could hear you both clearly and could almost see the look on her face when you gave the wrong answer. :)
Well done!
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